changing seasons

Last week in group, one of our participants suggested we write about the changing seasons. The air was getting cooler, the days shorter, even the light slanting in the windows was a little different and everyone seemed to be feeling it. Here are some pieces inspired by the change in season:

Autumn is Coming, by Anonymous Woman

It is the end of August and it feels more like October. There is a briskness in the air and it is overcast. I like autumn, it's my favorite season. It always has been. I like the colors of the crunching leaves, I like the autumn clothing, the way the air feels and the anticipation of the holidays. I don't even mind the rain, especially now that I have a place to live. I am looking forward to the inclement weather of autumn. I think I'd like to write a poem about autumn and the holidays:

The crisp air and crunch beneath my feet
make me forget the summer heat.
The overcast sky and the fresh smell of rain
make me happy and help me forget my pain.
The holiday shoppers will soon be out in full force
shopping for their loved ones and themselves, of course.
People seem kinder as though they believe in Santa
and always exchange pleasant banter.
The kindness in the air could never be wrong,
too bad it couldn't last all year long.
If people could bottle the happiness they feel
they could use it throughout the year when things seem surreal
May this year we capture the nostalgia and love too
and use it to see us the entire year through.



With The Change of Seasons, by Dilly Scott

It makes me wonder if several people wanted something or didn't want something if it could actually affect even the weather. That almost seems like that's the reason for white caps on the ocean.

I want everyone to reach their full potential in a positive manner, it's dischord to want to hurt even a machine.

The first cool day of summer to me is sad and all the nice days until Thanksgiving are cherished and I hope to make new friends, please people. Sometimes short days are frustrating and I love Easter. The first warm days are what I look forward to and then going somewhere on a vacation, enjoying being outside. I'd rather spend part of Thanksgiving and Christmas in church and celebrate the change in weather by a quick Thank You prayer and enjoy the beautiful plants in Spring.

the impact of the oasis

I promise I never ask people in writing group to sing the praises of the Oasis, but they often include some very nice things about the program in the things they write. Reading these unsolicited compliments always surprises me and reminds me what an incredible impact the program has. Here's a recent piece from writing group, written by a member of the group who left the program briefly and returned soon after.

Back at the Oasis, by Anonymous Woman

I'm at the Oasis. I had left for a week to go back East and now I'm back. When I got back I was so relieved that a bed was still available to me. I was so tired. It's been about a month and I'm back in the swing of things. Everyday I'm grateful that I'm off the street. The Oasis really takes care of its clients: they are housed, well fed, medications are provided as well as support from the staff and whatever else they can provide 24-hours a day, 7 days a week. I feel it's an excellent program and I'm glad to be a part of it.

When I get housing, I'd like to get a pet. After I have a job and be sure I can feed it. I'd like a cat. I know that after I get housing I'll come back and visit often. I've gotten used to the community and sometimes people have a hard time adjusting to the housing that is found for them 'cause they are so used to the community. I'm certain I will be fine when I get my housing and move out. I'd like everyone to know what a great service is provided here.

The reason why some people have difficulty is because they go from a large support system to living alone. After housing, people are allowed to still come here to visit, which is good. I hope I always do as good as I'm doing here. I was considered chronically homeless and now I almost couldn't imagine or can't believe that's how I used to live and it can be a little overwhelming at times.

I'm presently waiting for housing which might take another month. I've gone from sleeping in doorways to *almost* being a productive, taxpaying person. I realized my life wasn't the norm or acceptable and it was hard to realize something like that.

letters that will never be sent

One of my favorite writing prompts for group is the letter that will never be sent. Participants are encouraged to sit a moment and think about people they'd like to write something to. The person can be someone real or made-up, someone they know or someone they've only just heard of. And because the letter will never be sent, they can say whatever they feel they need to say without worrying about consequences. These letters have tended to be very personal and the folks who write them often choose not to share them outside the group. However, I will post the letters that people want to share periodically, starting with this one.

Dear Rachel, by Dilly Scott

Dear Rachel,

I've been in respite, I guess. There were some objections when I fell in love in 1974, 1984, and 2004 with the same guy. He's elegant in his black tuxedo and I call him "Gorgeous Guy." Had to rethink everything, but I've never minded that. It reminds me of my mom. She wasn't old inside her spirit.

I do miss all of you. Wish we could go and have coffee and doughnuts in Lincoln City and watch things go on. I want to buy a porch swing even though I enjoy doing things. I am ok, but I need a hug. Right now I'd hug the mole. Silly, but I loved the Channel 10 special. Have been feeling restless and wish I could fix eggs, onions and cheese.

I know I'll see "Gorgeous Guy" again. I have been a little tired. I'm a clean freak but I try not to encroach. Made a wish book this month. Am my usual, sappy self. I am not happy without a pet. I haven't given up. Very best to kitten and everyone.

Love,

Dilly

we'd love to hear from you!

Thanks to everyone who has visited the site so far! Writing group meets in a couple of hours and I'm excited to tell everyone how many hits we've had (48 in just two short days!). For anyone who may have tried to leave comments and found their way was blocked, the settings have been changed and comments are now ennabled. Please leave feedback! Everyone would love to hear what our readers have to say. Thanks and please bookmark this site and keep coming back for more!

my first day at the oasis

On the first day of writing group, I asked if people would write about their first day at the oasis. This is a big place with a lot of people and I imagined it could be pretty intimidating. I was really curious to know how everybody's first days had felt. Here are their stories.

From Maryah:

My first day at the Oasis... that's a little crazy. Fresh out of the hospital, new to the downtown area, and very different from my fellows; or so I thought. People were walking around talking to themselves, laughing at the air and even arguing with their hands! I was in trouble. I knew I didn't belong here. Then, to top it off, someone got arrested and we all had to leave the DIC. "What's the DIC" I remember thinking. (Note from the Captain: the DIC is the drop in center where everybody hangs out.) So much drama and chaos. I just wanted to go to bed. Escape. Go away.

Soon it was dinner time. What a riot! People came out of everywhere. There was a long line and I was told to get in or get out. Then someone whom I cannot seem to remember now gave me cuts in line so I wouldn't have to go to the end. I eventually settled down and in, made some friends and got used to this place. I'm ok now and I've realized I'm not so different from my fellows. We all have problems and that's why we are here.

From Anonymous Woman:

My first day at the Oasis was scary. I was expected here. Being at a treatment center for five and a half months, I was excited and afraid. I was brought here by a friend and sponsor. The staff here at the Oasis appeared to be happy I was now a part of their people who were staying here and I started to relax. I saw all of the Oasis and was showed the dorm where I would be staying. After the tour, I was alone to unpack my stuff. This place is now my home.

From Anonymous Woman #2:

My first day at the Oasis: I came through the door and met with my case manager. This place had some people acting tough, people asking me for cigarettes. I left and went to the shelter I'd been at to get my stuff. Luckily, some guy had a cart and brought it over here. They showed me around and gave me some bedding and I was too nervous to do anything so I sat on my bed. There was this woman sitting at the end of the bed, she asked me for a cig so I had one with her so I wouldn't be so nervous. Then I bought a pop and I ended up buying her one too. I felt sorry for her so I helped her some more. She dropped things on the floor and she wanted me to help her pick them up. She got coffee and she wanted me to get the cream and sugar for her. It only took me half a second to figure out she takes kindness as weakness and she didn't want a friend, she wanted a slave. Then some big girl came up and tried to show her power. I just said, "Bitch, don't you know I can beat your ass, don't matter what." If I show my weakness, people will eat me alive. This was a new place and I could sleep for a couple of days. I had a bunch of guys here trying to pick me up. To this day, they all say I had my chance. Yeah, I did. I had my chance to turn them down! They just don't seem to realize I have the best boyfriend and nobody can change my mind.

Anonymous Woman #3:

I was referred by my old case manager. I came in and was able to do my laundry, shower and be off the streets. I remember a staff person told me I could sleep on the couch that night and I was so happy to have a chance to rest and not sleep on the street. I spent most of that weekend indoors and I asked again about the couch and they said yes.

Eventually, after about a week or two, I moved into the dorm. It was nice and cool in there. This was about two months ago. Since then, I've been doing very well psychologically and all around better as I sleep, eat good, and shower regularly and have acquired clothes and can do laundry. My thinking is much better. I think the elements outside were hard.

I notice a major difference in myself. I feel the stability and routine of life the Oasis has given me will be with me always. It has definitely made me a better person. I've become very open to groups since I've been at the Oasis -- they were very beneficial to me. I have so much to look forward to and I'm grateful for my mindset and the Oasis. I think the staff does and excellent job. They are very tolerant, patient and professional.

Anonymous Man:

My first day at the Oasis, I was suicidal. I was grateful I had a place to stay, but also I was on the streets and very depressed. Things were rough at the beginning but eventually I met people and got involved. It was a long process, but God was with me. I made some friends who were very nice to me, including the staff. I got help. I'm grateful for the blessing and the people who were there for me. I now I have an apartment and a job interview. That will help me get a job. Compassion is a beautiful thing. I have expressed it and have received it. To be kind to someone comes back on you. Anyone can be mean, but to be kind is the true essence of life. I am not where I was eleven months ago. I'm a better person.

welcome to the oasis

The Oasis is a place to land and rest and regroup when you find yourself in between places. I'm the Captain, and I work at the Oasis. I was shipwrecked here about five years ago and I just can't seem to get off the island. Maybe I don't try hard enough, maybe I just like the food, maybe I can't live without the place. Who knows.

Really, the Oasis is a transitional housing program in Portland for people living with mental illness who would otherwise be facing homelessness. The people who spend time at the Oasis come from all walks of life and are all at different spots on their journeys. Some have been living with their illnesses a long time, and some are just getting to know their illnesses. Some have been homeless for years, and some are still reeling from their first nights on the streets. Some are dealing with substance use issues, and some have never seen drugs in their lives. Some have beds here, and some are just visitors.

The one thing that unites all the voices you'll see on this blog is their participation in Writing Group. Every Thursday a group of us get together and write stories about our lives and our experiences and now I'm starting this blog so other people can read the stories of the people who spend time at the Oasis. I hope to update the blog at least once a week with the new writing generated from group. We hope you enjoy what you read and come back frequently.

(Just so you know: This blog is completely anonymous and all the names you see will be pen names. Even the Oasis is a pseudonym. And, believe it or not, I'm not really called the Captain, either, though I think it would be a great nickname if I could just convice people to start using it...)