the season

We all know we're supposed to be really happy and have lots of fun during these seasonal holidays we're having, but the reality for a lot of people is not so happy. Many of us have lost loved ones during the holiday season, or have other bad memories that come up. Yep, it's true. A lot of us are pretty blue during these holidays. Here are two pieces written by a woman in group who is having a rough time of it right now. They're sad, but they're representative of the experiences of a lot of people, even during the holidays.

Pain, by Myriah

Pain so sharp it feels like a
knife is cutting through my soul.
My heart so heavy with a gaping hole.
You can't reach in,
I won't reach out --
You wonder what it's all about.
I wear a mask to protect myself
So you can't see my pain.
But in the end, I never win,
my efforts are in vain.
Hopeless, helpless, torn and weak
but no words will I speak.
I carry this load like a I'm OK
hoping tomorrow is a better day.



I'm Sorry, by Maryah

Are you happy now?
Are you out of pain?
You were too young for this,
you had too much to gain.
I'm sorry that you took your life
Without coming to me first.
I'm sorry that you didn't trust me
enough to tell you what you're worth.
I'm sorry that we held each other
so close, flesh to flesh.
I'm sorry now, because without you
my life is such a mess.
I'm sorry that you hurt so bad,
you didn't know what else to do.
I'm sorry that I didn't see it,
I would have tried to save you.
I'm sorry that I loved so much --
and that I cared so very deep.
I'm sorry for all the pain I feel,
and for all the tears that I weep.